This story is a gem! It took place at a store I use to work at. Unfortunately I wasn't working when this occurred (though I don't really wish I was there), I did have the pleasure of hearing the story from five different co-workers who were involved/witnessed the "incident". With these different perspectives I hope recreate the story in whole, and I truly hopes it translate well in writing.
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Location: Fine home decor store, Walnut Creek, Ca
A grandmother and a mother came in to the store one afternoon, along with two young boys. They are interested in purchasing a dining table, and have started talking with a store associate (we'll call her "B") about the 100% mahogany table with the capabilities to sit 10 (the most expensive table in the overpriced store).
Attention is first brought upon them by a second associate ("G"). You see, the grandmother had a huge ass. According to G, it was the BIGGEST ass she's ever seen. And to top it off the women is wearing spandex, that are a few sizes too small, and there for are stretched beyond their limits. No longer a solid piece of fabric, but a collection of many fibers, holding on for dear life - stretched to the point that you can see through, because there are holes between the over worked fibers. So G called over the walkie-talkies for the manager to come and check out this Ass (capitalized... because it's a being in itself). <--proof of the true uses of walkie-talkies
Now while this is all happening, B has been discussing the qualities of the table with the ladies. The younger of the two boys, perched on the mother's hip, is complaining about stomach pains. The mother too engaged in her conversation over the table, ignores his pleas, and ten minutes when the smell of poop has polluted the air, the mother still doesn't seem to notice or care.
At this point the manager on duty, as well as other associates and stock workers who heard of the large ass that has arrived in the store have gathered at a safe distance to catch a glimpse of the marvel.
The smell of poop has grown, and the poor child in still complaining of stomach pains. So B, who couldn't believe the mothers ignorance to the child’s discomfort, asks the mother if the child is feeling ok.
At this point multiple things happen at once. The "ass observers" had gathered. The mother replied to B that the boy had been feeling sick to his stomach, but she thinks he's just fine. While at the same time pulling the back of his pants open to see if he's soiled himself. But the most important thing that happened in this instance, was that something in the boy let go, and a spray of liquid feces came shooting out of the open back of his pants. Covering the child, covering the mother, covering the floor, and covering the $3000 table that they have been discussing buying.
At the pointing the mother, embarrassed about what happened takes the boy up to the restroom to clean them both. While the grandmother stays. Though she doesn’t help clean the mess; she instead acts as if nothing has happened and continues to ask questions about the table. While B and G are essentially scooping and wiping her grandson’s shit off of the $3000 table and surrounding area.
