So far most of my stories have been about outrageous situations, and strange customers.
But sometimes the stories have nothing to do with the customers, and everything to so with the employees and managers with in the retail environment.
This was an experience a friend of mine had while at work on day.
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After clocking out for lunch one day, I was invited by one of my managers so come in to the office and have lunch and talk with him. It was his last day at our store. He was transferring to a different store, near by, but in another "district". So we were chatting eating our lunch in the managers office, when our district supervisor called.
Now, the policy with personal relationships between management and upper management, within the company, are that they are allowed, but not with in the same district. So if you were to start a relationship with someone within your district, one of you would be expected to transfer to another district.
Now this wasn't why he had decided to transfer. He was actually being promoted to a store manager. And the policy for being promoted to store manager, is that you can't be the store manager of a store you've worked in before.
So when the district supervisor called, he answered the phone by putting it on speaker. More so that he could hold his burrito with both hand while talking, than to share the the conversation with me.
But the first things that came out of the supervisors mouth when he answered were, "So now that you're moving to another district, that means we're at least not breaking that rule when we fuck in the back room".
To which my manager gave me a terrified looks, while simultaneously taking the call off speaker phone, and signaling me out of the office quickly.
Though he exchanged a few worried looks later, he never said anything more. I never mentioned to anyone within the store...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Language Barriers
When ever you work with people, especially customer service jobs, you are always going to encounter language barriers of some sort or another. I've helped many people who have spoken very little, to no English, and even at times deaf customers. Sometimes it's a challenge, but it is one of those things that feels good and rewarding when you ARE able to make some sort of connection without the language.
Recently at work, I had a group of customers with which communication proved a challenge.
To which the mother flashes me yet another angry looks, looks at her daughter and says one last thing to her, before barking at me in English "NO! OKAY?!"
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Recently at work, I had a group of customers with which communication proved a challenge.
I was going about my "work tasks", when a young girl came out of an aisle very quickly. She looked me dead in the eye, and said something very fast. And as it turns out, in French.
Confused, and said "Sorry?"
To which she started talking even faster in french, while rubbing her hand over her face in embarrassment.
I asked if she needed help, or had a question.
At this point her mother walks up and starts talking quickly with the girl, entirely in french.
As I stand there awkwardly, I can tel by the tone of the conversation, that it quickly moves from quick words, to flashes of anger. With the mother looking at me between sentences with death stares. While the daughter looks like she's about to cry.
And I'm still standing there. With no idea whats going on, but feeling like it would be extremely rude to just turn and walk away.
Finally, with no other ideas on how to move on and away from the missed placed angry looks, I ask them one last time if they had any questions.
To which the mother flashes me yet another angry looks, looks at her daughter and says one last thing to her, before barking at me in English "NO! OKAY?!"
So I made my slightly awkward exit, continuing on with my work. Occasionally coming across the group while I worked, who looked at me suspiciously each time they passed.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Pet Store Mayham
The fishy threat!
Pet stores carry a kind of goldfish, the Comet in this case, though better known to the public as feeder fish. The goldfish that can be won at a fair, and are expected to not make it through the night. The same fish used to feed reptiles. They cost less than a quarter, and are literally born and breed to die.
Now these fish can survive for years when properly taken care of, but that’s not the point of this particular story.
A fish, like all living things, needs oxygen to survive! So it should be no big surprise, that a fish, in a closed and sealed jar... with no air holes... will run out of oxygen and die.
Now the more fish you put in a jar with limited oxygen, the faster the oxygen runs out, and the quicker the fish die.
So one night this elderly women come in with her son. She's "from he old country" and speaks no English, so he middle aged son is doing all the translating. With them they have a large gallon jar, sealed, with 15 dead goldfish floating in it.
They explain that she's watching the fish while her nephew is out of town, and they just died! So after explaining the whole concept of oxygen and life, and that fish can't survive with out air, let alone that each fish should have 3 galleons of water each, let alone 15 fish in 1 gallon. Essentially... she killed the fish.
So they decided that they are going to buy 15 fish, hopefully 15 that look very similar, to replace them. Not that that's shady enough as it is, they still didn't seem to get, that they need a large tank... and that sure they can get those fish, but once they put then in that jar and seal it, or for that matter not seal it, it's too small, and the fish WILL DIE. So it's suggested that perhaps the best thing to do, would be to explain what happened to the nephew, and he can buy more fish when he has the proper tank set up.
They won't have this... they need these fish now, because the nephew can't know!
At this point a manager makes the decision to not sell them the fish. Seeing that any live animal should have a proper home, and there is no way these fish are going to survive, we can't sell any living animal, including $0.25 fish to imminent death.
At this point the son in furious. And he starts throwing out threats. The biggest being that he's going to sue the store for accusing his mother of being a murderer and refusing to sell them fish. In the end they got the fish (to avoid the pointless lawsuit).
They whole thing was ridiculous! And the store was almost sued for attempting to save the lives of fish (that, lets be honest, would have gotten eaten by a turtle rather than died in a jar if we hadn't sold them).
Those pour fish really have nothing to live for.
Pet stores carry a kind of goldfish, the Comet in this case, though better known to the public as feeder fish. The goldfish that can be won at a fair, and are expected to not make it through the night. The same fish used to feed reptiles. They cost less than a quarter, and are literally born and breed to die.
Now these fish can survive for years when properly taken care of, but that’s not the point of this particular story.
A fish, like all living things, needs oxygen to survive! So it should be no big surprise, that a fish, in a closed and sealed jar... with no air holes... will run out of oxygen and die.
Now the more fish you put in a jar with limited oxygen, the faster the oxygen runs out, and the quicker the fish die.
So one night this elderly women come in with her son. She's "from he old country" and speaks no English, so he middle aged son is doing all the translating. With them they have a large gallon jar, sealed, with 15 dead goldfish floating in it.
They explain that she's watching the fish while her nephew is out of town, and they just died! So after explaining the whole concept of oxygen and life, and that fish can't survive with out air, let alone that each fish should have 3 galleons of water each, let alone 15 fish in 1 gallon. Essentially... she killed the fish.
So they decided that they are going to buy 15 fish, hopefully 15 that look very similar, to replace them. Not that that's shady enough as it is, they still didn't seem to get, that they need a large tank... and that sure they can get those fish, but once they put then in that jar and seal it, or for that matter not seal it, it's too small, and the fish WILL DIE. So it's suggested that perhaps the best thing to do, would be to explain what happened to the nephew, and he can buy more fish when he has the proper tank set up.
They won't have this... they need these fish now, because the nephew can't know!
At this point a manager makes the decision to not sell them the fish. Seeing that any live animal should have a proper home, and there is no way these fish are going to survive, we can't sell any living animal, including $0.25 fish to imminent death.
At this point the son in furious. And he starts throwing out threats. The biggest being that he's going to sue the store for accusing his mother of being a murderer and refusing to sell them fish. In the end they got the fish (to avoid the pointless lawsuit).
They whole thing was ridiculous! And the store was almost sued for attempting to save the lives of fish (that, lets be honest, would have gotten eaten by a turtle rather than died in a jar if we hadn't sold them).
Those pour fish really have nothing to live for.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Drugs, Cops and Bathrooms.... New Years Eve
I think one of the worst kinds of customers are the ones that come in right as the store is closing, and just won't leave, and to top it off reference the fact that they keeping you there. What is so important that you have to buy it right then, and not wait until the next day!And even more.... New Years Eve...why in the world would you want to spend New Years Eve shopping!? And though you may not have a life... the people working at the store are trying to get the hell out of there so that they CAN have a life!
This story isn't exactly about one of those particular customers... but it's the same idea of being stuck in the store until that last person who refuses to leave... leaves!
Stores close early on New Years Eve. Because lets be honest, there are so many better places to be. Out store was closing at 5 pm that night, and 10 minutes before closing man comes running in to the store. Running and screaming about the people that are chasing him and trying to kill him. His pupils were so large you could have swim in them. The guy runs in 2 full circles around the store, before running in to the bathroom and locking himself in.
After trying to cokes him out of the bathroom themselves, management decides to calls mall security, who show up and stare at the bathroom door before coming to the conclusion that they will do nothing. They figure, he’s in the bathroom, he can’t hurt anyone, wait tel he comes out, they can’t do anything. Big help that is. And to top it off they ignore pleas from the store manager to stay, seeing as they don’t know if he’s dangerous, or possibly has a weapon. Mall security ignores all of this and leaves.
That attempt having failed, so they called the police. After speaking with the police operator and assured someone was on the way they waited for over an hour. Realizing it was now past 6, and they should be home, but instead they are sitting around, pleading to a closed door, and the drugged up man inside to come out. We should be at home, celebrating new years eve.
Realizing that the police has no plan in coming anytime soon, they decided to try one other desperate attempt - to set of the alarm of the store - assuming that then, they police would have to show up to check on the situation. Turns out when the alarm goes off, the alarm company doesn’t call the police, they call the manager that lives closest to the store. Said manager, responded to the call with… “it must be a mistake, their still at the store, don’t inform the police”. So that didn't work ether.
Finally the police came and were able to get the man out of the bathroom and off the premises, but it was 2 hours after closing and 7 pm on New Years Eve. Though we did get out in time to celebrate, it was a long night.
-B
This story isn't exactly about one of those particular customers... but it's the same idea of being stuck in the store until that last person who refuses to leave... leaves!
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Stores close early on New Years Eve. Because lets be honest, there are so many better places to be. Out store was closing at 5 pm that night, and 10 minutes before closing man comes running in to the store. Running and screaming about the people that are chasing him and trying to kill him. His pupils were so large you could have swim in them. The guy runs in 2 full circles around the store, before running in to the bathroom and locking himself in.
After trying to cokes him out of the bathroom themselves, management decides to calls mall security, who show up and stare at the bathroom door before coming to the conclusion that they will do nothing. They figure, he’s in the bathroom, he can’t hurt anyone, wait tel he comes out, they can’t do anything. Big help that is. And to top it off they ignore pleas from the store manager to stay, seeing as they don’t know if he’s dangerous, or possibly has a weapon. Mall security ignores all of this and leaves.
That attempt having failed, so they called the police. After speaking with the police operator and assured someone was on the way they waited for over an hour. Realizing it was now past 6, and they should be home, but instead they are sitting around, pleading to a closed door, and the drugged up man inside to come out. We should be at home, celebrating new years eve.
Realizing that the police has no plan in coming anytime soon, they decided to try one other desperate attempt - to set of the alarm of the store - assuming that then, they police would have to show up to check on the situation. Turns out when the alarm goes off, the alarm company doesn’t call the police, they call the manager that lives closest to the store. Said manager, responded to the call with… “it must be a mistake, their still at the store, don’t inform the police”. So that didn't work ether.
Finally the police came and were able to get the man out of the bathroom and off the premises, but it was 2 hours after closing and 7 pm on New Years Eve. Though we did get out in time to celebrate, it was a long night.
-B
Friday, February 27, 2009
Today at work
There is a python lose in our store... no joke. It's on the smaller side... but still! THERE IS A PYTHON LOSE IN OUR STORE!!!
On another note...
Awkward conversation with co-worker
co-worker: OH MAN!
me: What?
cw: I just got a text from my boyfriend. He went to the doctor, but he's not insured. It cost him $200 and all he did was drop his pants and have the doctor say "Yeah we can remove that". Plus it's going to cost another $500 to get it removed
She never specified what it was... nor do I want to know. but ohhhh all the possibilities....
On another note...
Awkward conversation with co-worker
co-worker: OH MAN!
me: What?
cw: I just got a text from my boyfriend. He went to the doctor, but he's not insured. It cost him $200 and all he did was drop his pants and have the doctor say "Yeah we can remove that". Plus it's going to cost another $500 to get it removed
She never specified what it was... nor do I want to know. but ohhhh all the possibilities....
Monday, February 23, 2009
Spandex
This one is actually one of own.
At the over priced home decor store I worked at, there was a frequent shopper that always gave us a kick. She would come into the store 2-3 times a week and always in a different – brightly colored and most likely over priced- exercise attire. Always spandex, though not the cheap kind, this was serious spandex! And always, the top was the cut of a sports bra; perfect to show off her middle aged, over worked, overly tanned stomach, rock hard fake tits and her masculine arms. These were two-piece get ups, a matching top and bottom! And my favorite tops were the ones with the heavy duty zipper down the cleavage. (And I have to say, I am impressed, that for coming in as much as she did, I never saw her repeat an outfit.)
She would come in the store and shop, mostly just browsing, though upon occasion she would make a large purchase. For the most part, she would wonder the store and take advantage of every opportunity to work out. I always felt I was watching some strange exercise video about turning any situation and place in to a full blown gym work out. Ledges were suddenly aerobic steps, or my favorite used to do “the backward push up”.
And to top it all off, she would explain what she was doing to fellow shoppers, and go into detail about what muscles she was working out. It was like an exercise infomercial.
The first time I saw this women I thought it was a huge joke. Come to find out, she’s just really big on staying fit, and refuses to let anything - like shopping - get in the way!
There was one day she had been in the store and purchased a larger item. So she had come back later in the day to pick it up from out back – carry out - door. My manager had met her at the door, and taken her pick up slip, and then shut the door to proceed to get her item. Realizing she had given him the wrong slip, he opened the door to find her doing push up in the hall outside (mind you this city does have homeless people, who are known to relive themselves in said halls…so they were always a bit crusty and always reek of some form of human excrement). He attempted to get her attention, and was quickly hushed, so she can finish her 50 push-ups before stopping to retrieve the correct slip.
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At the over priced home decor store I worked at, there was a frequent shopper that always gave us a kick. She would come into the store 2-3 times a week and always in a different – brightly colored and most likely over priced- exercise attire. Always spandex, though not the cheap kind, this was serious spandex! And always, the top was the cut of a sports bra; perfect to show off her middle aged, over worked, overly tanned stomach, rock hard fake tits and her masculine arms. These were two-piece get ups, a matching top and bottom! And my favorite tops were the ones with the heavy duty zipper down the cleavage. (And I have to say, I am impressed, that for coming in as much as she did, I never saw her repeat an outfit.)
She would come in the store and shop, mostly just browsing, though upon occasion she would make a large purchase. For the most part, she would wonder the store and take advantage of every opportunity to work out. I always felt I was watching some strange exercise video about turning any situation and place in to a full blown gym work out. Ledges were suddenly aerobic steps, or my favorite used to do “the backward push up”.
And to top it all off, she would explain what she was doing to fellow shoppers, and go into detail about what muscles she was working out. It was like an exercise infomercial.
The first time I saw this women I thought it was a huge joke. Come to find out, she’s just really big on staying fit, and refuses to let anything - like shopping - get in the way!
There was one day she had been in the store and purchased a larger item. So she had come back later in the day to pick it up from out back – carry out - door. My manager had met her at the door, and taken her pick up slip, and then shut the door to proceed to get her item. Realizing she had given him the wrong slip, he opened the door to find her doing push up in the hall outside (mind you this city does have homeless people, who are known to relive themselves in said halls…so they were always a bit crusty and always reek of some form of human excrement). He attempted to get her attention, and was quickly hushed, so she can finish her 50 push-ups before stopping to retrieve the correct slip.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Top Heavy
Location: High end furniture store
Participants: Large chested store associate and middle aged man
The man came in interested in a dinning table. After showing him the different options for tables, we came to the last table. An extremely heavy hardwood table.
He stated reading the "Facts Sheet" attached to the table out loud. When he got to the the part which read "caution: top heavy", he looked up and said "Is this referring to the table or to you?"
Participants: Large chested store associate and middle aged man
The man came in interested in a dinning table. After showing him the different options for tables, we came to the last table. An extremely heavy hardwood table.
He stated reading the "Facts Sheet" attached to the table out loud. When he got to the the part which read "caution: top heavy", he looked up and said "Is this referring to the table or to you?"
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Creep
Sometimes customers can be creepy
This is a friends story of one such case
It was one evening, just before closing, when a man walked in to the store. I was alone on the floor, we were short handed that night, and my manager was in the back office closing. The man looked at me, then slowly walked around the entire store. He stopped in front of me, and asked, "Are you here alone?"
I realized he had looked to see if anyone else was in the store, so I lied, and tried to make it sound as if I wasn't alone. I was completely freaked out, and thinking about what he wants and how to react.
But what he ended up saying surprised me
"You’re the type of girl I would marry for a week, fuck then divorce "
Not what I had expected, inappropriate, but I hadn't thought about how it react in this situation.
I responded, "I happen to have a boyfriend".
To which he said, "I happen to know you don’t ".
At this point I sternly told him he needs to leave, yet he didn't seem to get the clue, and continued to "casually" harass me. That is until I treated to call security, and he shuffled out.
This is a friends story of one such case
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It was one evening, just before closing, when a man walked in to the store. I was alone on the floor, we were short handed that night, and my manager was in the back office closing. The man looked at me, then slowly walked around the entire store. He stopped in front of me, and asked, "Are you here alone?"
I realized he had looked to see if anyone else was in the store, so I lied, and tried to make it sound as if I wasn't alone. I was completely freaked out, and thinking about what he wants and how to react.
But what he ended up saying surprised me
"You’re the type of girl I would marry for a week, fuck then divorce "
Not what I had expected, inappropriate, but I hadn't thought about how it react in this situation.
I responded, "I happen to have a boyfriend".
To which he said, "I happen to know you don’t ".
At this point I sternly told him he needs to leave, yet he didn't seem to get the clue, and continued to "casually" harass me. That is until I treated to call security, and he shuffled out.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Plain White Tees and Diaper Wipes
Though not quite a "poo-mergency", this department store hell story does register as pretty damn gross.
It was just before Christmas, when there is the huge holiday rush, and the store was extremely busy. Because there were to many customers and not enough employees, me and a coworker had decided to team up. We were on dressing room duty, and we had figured out what it was quicker to both work together and rotate between the different dressing rooms. So we were running in circles, going from the Menes to the Women's - Juniors'- Children's, etc.
It was madness, with constant moving. At one point in the day we had gotten back to the Juniors dressing room. It was trashed! Which wasn't at all unusual, but was strange was the smell. But we were in a grove, and just continued cleaning. We had made it through the small dressing rooms, coming to the large room last. The floor was covered in clothes, there were three large piles.
So we started sorting through. Dividing what needed to be folded, hung, go the jeans wall, etc. My co-worker, making it to the final pile, picked up a plan white tee-shirt, and exclaimed "OH MY GOD! I've found out what the smell is. This is disgusting".
The shirt had a smear down the front. Someone had used the white tee-shirt as a diaper wipe. And it wasn't just the one shirt, it was five total that had been used. Some bitch didn't have the decency to walk the 100 yards to the bathroom to change her child's diaper, and had instead decided that the a hand full of Juniors white tee-shirts, would work to wipe the kids ass.
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It was just before Christmas, when there is the huge holiday rush, and the store was extremely busy. Because there were to many customers and not enough employees, me and a coworker had decided to team up. We were on dressing room duty, and we had figured out what it was quicker to both work together and rotate between the different dressing rooms. So we were running in circles, going from the Menes to the Women's - Juniors'- Children's, etc.
It was madness, with constant moving. At one point in the day we had gotten back to the Juniors dressing room. It was trashed! Which wasn't at all unusual, but was strange was the smell. But we were in a grove, and just continued cleaning. We had made it through the small dressing rooms, coming to the large room last. The floor was covered in clothes, there were three large piles.
So we started sorting through. Dividing what needed to be folded, hung, go the jeans wall, etc. My co-worker, making it to the final pile, picked up a plan white tee-shirt, and exclaimed "OH MY GOD! I've found out what the smell is. This is disgusting".
The shirt had a smear down the front. Someone had used the white tee-shirt as a diaper wipe. And it wasn't just the one shirt, it was five total that had been used. Some bitch didn't have the decency to walk the 100 yards to the bathroom to change her child's diaper, and had instead decided that the a hand full of Juniors white tee-shirts, would work to wipe the kids ass.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Shoplifter in Training
This one I got from a department store associate. And though not the most outrageous story I've heard, it's definitely different... and wrong.
Once day while monitoring the children's dressing room at my store, I noticed a man in the dressing room with his young daughter. Not thinking much of it, I continued cleaning out the clothes left in the empty dressing stalls. The stall next to theirs had a large pile of clothes on the ground. So I grabbed the first load and carries it out, but when going in for the second arm load I over heard the man in the next stall talking quietly to his daughter.
Realizing the conversation was a bit suspicious I paused for a moment to over hear him telling his daughter, "This is why you wear a big jacket with very little underneath. You can put on multiple layers of shirts and you can't tell once your jacket is back on." The conversation, that i now realized was a lesson in shoplifting continued like that.
So finally I knocked on the door, resulting in complete quite on the other side, and I politely asked "If you're going to teach your daughter to shoplift, please don't do it in my dressing room".
At this point I called in the store Loss Prevention Manager. And when the man and child had exited the store they were stopped. The man was outraged and accused the store of crossing the line. But considering the frightened child, no older than 6 or 7, opened her jacket to reveal the four shirts she had on underneath, if was definitely the man who has crossed the line.
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Once day while monitoring the children's dressing room at my store, I noticed a man in the dressing room with his young daughter. Not thinking much of it, I continued cleaning out the clothes left in the empty dressing stalls. The stall next to theirs had a large pile of clothes on the ground. So I grabbed the first load and carries it out, but when going in for the second arm load I over heard the man in the next stall talking quietly to his daughter.
Realizing the conversation was a bit suspicious I paused for a moment to over hear him telling his daughter, "This is why you wear a big jacket with very little underneath. You can put on multiple layers of shirts and you can't tell once your jacket is back on." The conversation, that i now realized was a lesson in shoplifting continued like that.
So finally I knocked on the door, resulting in complete quite on the other side, and I politely asked "If you're going to teach your daughter to shoplift, please don't do it in my dressing room".
At this point I called in the store Loss Prevention Manager. And when the man and child had exited the store they were stopped. The man was outraged and accused the store of crossing the line. But considering the frightened child, no older than 6 or 7, opened her jacket to reveal the four shirts she had on underneath, if was definitely the man who has crossed the line.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Never Stop Moving
Short bit from a small town drugstore
My store is in a quite park of town, no where near downtown at the normal retail rush. But it happened to be right next door to a retirement home. So we get a lot of people 65 and up. In fact sometimes there are scheduled "fieldtrips" to our shopping center.
On Christmas Eve, a woman from the retirement home came in to our store. I put all of her items in to one bag, but hesitated realizing she's a small old lady. So I asked, " Do u want me to lighten this up for u? " and she said "Oh, no! I am strong!"
Totally amused, I decide to humor her a bit and say, "Wow you are strong! "
To which she responds, "I'm 91 years old! almost 92."
I reply," WOW, I wanna be like u when i'm that age"
And she said "Do you wanna know the secret to good health like mine? Never stop moving!" and then she flexed her arm!
I thanked her for the advice, and was truely impressed with her vitailty and humor!
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My store is in a quite park of town, no where near downtown at the normal retail rush. But it happened to be right next door to a retirement home. So we get a lot of people 65 and up. In fact sometimes there are scheduled "fieldtrips" to our shopping center.
On Christmas Eve, a woman from the retirement home came in to our store. I put all of her items in to one bag, but hesitated realizing she's a small old lady. So I asked, " Do u want me to lighten this up for u? " and she said "Oh, no! I am strong!"
Totally amused, I decide to humor her a bit and say, "Wow you are strong! "
To which she responds, "I'm 91 years old! almost 92."
I reply," WOW, I wanna be like u when i'm that age"
And she said "Do you wanna know the secret to good health like mine? Never stop moving!" and then she flexed her arm!
I thanked her for the advice, and was truely impressed with her vitailty and humor!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Bare Breast Bitch Fest
When you work in a women's clothing store, you get used to dealing with a lot of children in your environment. Women often shop with their little kids, and beyond having to clean up a few more sticky fingerprints and cracker crumbs after they leave, they rarely cause any problems. However, one afternoon a young woman brought her two small children shopping with her-- a 2 year old boy and his older sister-- and all hell broke loose.
At this point, I'd like to pause and stress the fact that this story isn't about terrible little children. With a lead-up such as the one presented above, you may be thinking that this story is about some snot-nosed brat's meltdown, but the true antagonist of this store is actually a woman in her early 60s who did not have a sense of humor, any control over her temper, and apparently didn't have a soul.
As the young woman began to shop, she let her children sit down next to our basket of children's books to read, which, for the most part, is exactly what they did. But as their mother shopped, the two-year-old boy began to grow antsy, and began running in and out of the curtained dressing rooms, one of which was occupied by the soulless 60 yr-old who was decidedly NOT amused by this. She began to yell at the little boy, telling him his actions were "Inappropriate!" and that he should be "Ashamed!" Since the little boy was only 2, and probably didn't understand, let alone care what the crotchety old woman said to him, he continued to poke his head into her dressing room, giggling madly all the while.
Finally, the 60 yr-old snapped, and started screaming, "My BARE BREASTS are exposed and you're PEERING in at me! Stop this at once!" She then proceeded to hastily cover her "bare breasts" and yell at my manager that she was "HUMILIATED", wanted a phone apology from the owners of the store, and insisted on having the children's books moved as far as possible away from the fitting rooms. At this point, the little boy's mother tried to intervene and apologize on behalf of her little son, as well as reassure the woman that her boy was only 2, and wasn't ogling her. To this, the Bare Breast woman responded by screaming in the woman's face that, "Children develop memories by 2, and she didn't want her bare breasts to be one of his! (the little boy's)." The mortified mother, in an effort to defend her son, began yelling back at Bare Breasts, and a high-volume screaming match ensued. Eventually, the mom threw her two young kids into their stroller, called Bare Breasts a "crazy bitch" and left the store.
It may seem like Bare Breasts won in the end, but after all of the other patrons witnessed the yelling match, and sided with the very embarrassed young mother, Bare Breasts was literally intimidated out of the store. Every woman in their began an intense assault of evil-eye attacks, and the Bare Breasted woman grew so uncomfortable she left-- but only after insisting one more time to my manager that she be formally apologized to for her "ordeal" and left her card at the front desk.
At this point, I'd like to pause and stress the fact that this story isn't about terrible little children. With a lead-up such as the one presented above, you may be thinking that this story is about some snot-nosed brat's meltdown, but the true antagonist of this store is actually a woman in her early 60s who did not have a sense of humor, any control over her temper, and apparently didn't have a soul.
As the young woman began to shop, she let her children sit down next to our basket of children's books to read, which, for the most part, is exactly what they did. But as their mother shopped, the two-year-old boy began to grow antsy, and began running in and out of the curtained dressing rooms, one of which was occupied by the soulless 60 yr-old who was decidedly NOT amused by this. She began to yell at the little boy, telling him his actions were "Inappropriate!" and that he should be "Ashamed!" Since the little boy was only 2, and probably didn't understand, let alone care what the crotchety old woman said to him, he continued to poke his head into her dressing room, giggling madly all the while.
Finally, the 60 yr-old snapped, and started screaming, "My BARE BREASTS are exposed and you're PEERING in at me! Stop this at once!" She then proceeded to hastily cover her "bare breasts" and yell at my manager that she was "HUMILIATED", wanted a phone apology from the owners of the store, and insisted on having the children's books moved as far as possible away from the fitting rooms. At this point, the little boy's mother tried to intervene and apologize on behalf of her little son, as well as reassure the woman that her boy was only 2, and wasn't ogling her. To this, the Bare Breast woman responded by screaming in the woman's face that, "Children develop memories by 2, and she didn't want her bare breasts to be one of his! (the little boy's)." The mortified mother, in an effort to defend her son, began yelling back at Bare Breasts, and a high-volume screaming match ensued. Eventually, the mom threw her two young kids into their stroller, called Bare Breasts a "crazy bitch" and left the store.
It may seem like Bare Breasts won in the end, but after all of the other patrons witnessed the yelling match, and sided with the very embarrassed young mother, Bare Breasts was literally intimidated out of the store. Every woman in their began an intense assault of evil-eye attacks, and the Bare Breasted woman grew so uncomfortable she left-- but only after insisting one more time to my manager that she be formally apologized to for her "ordeal" and left her card at the front desk.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Senior Shoplifter
Shoplifters are something that all retail workers have dealt with. But it always surprises me how dumb some shoplifters can be.
Every store gets shoplifted, but there's something particularly annoying about the fact that the store where I work gets hit as often as it does. This is because, in a women's consignment store, all of the merchandise is used and therefore very reasonably priced, and it also belongs to people. If the merchandise in the store doesn't sell, it's either returned to whoever brought it in, or it's donated to a local women's charity. So to me, stealing from our store is like stealing from someones closet or from a charity, all mixed into one-- basically, whoever does it is automatically going to hell.
Shoplifters come in all shapes and sizes, but one of the most brazen was an elderly grandmother who stole a very expensive ring. She came in with her daughter and grandchildren, and in very broken English asked to please see the rings in the jewelery case. As she was looking through them, one of the grandchildren began screaming at the top of their lungs, stunning all by-standers and distracting the girl behind the counter. During this moment of mayhem, the elderly woman quickly slipped the most expensive of the rings into her pocket, thanked the salesgirl for showing her the rings, and promptly ushered her daughter and her no-longer-screaming grandchild out of the store. It wasn't until later in the day that my co-worker realized that one of the rings was missing, and realized what must have happened. She had been duped-- the screaming grandchild was the perfect distraction, in order for the elderly woman to pull of her perfect petty crime.
However, the elderly woman wasn't as savvy as she thought she was. (Either that, or she simply doubted the intelligence of the entire staff of the store.) The following week, she returned to the store, again with her daughter and grandchild in toe, and approached the jewelery case to look at the new items. She reached out to point to a particularly pretty necklace, again asking in broken English to see it, when the manager realized that the elderly woman was WEARING the stolen ring. She quickly told the elderly woman not to move, and asked her to please return the stolen ring and leave the store. The elderly woman began frantically murmuring that she "Did not speak English" while obviously trying to plan her escape. Sensing danger, her daughter and granddaughter had already left the store, and the elderly woman's eyes frantically darted around the store, trying to plan her escape. My manager, understanding that the elderly woman wasn't going to cooperate, finally said, "You may not understand me, but do you understand the word 'police officer'? Because that's who I'm going to call next." The elderly woman froze, and in perfect English said, "That I do understand," then promptly removed the ring, and left, never to be heard from again.
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Every store gets shoplifted, but there's something particularly annoying about the fact that the store where I work gets hit as often as it does. This is because, in a women's consignment store, all of the merchandise is used and therefore very reasonably priced, and it also belongs to people. If the merchandise in the store doesn't sell, it's either returned to whoever brought it in, or it's donated to a local women's charity. So to me, stealing from our store is like stealing from someones closet or from a charity, all mixed into one-- basically, whoever does it is automatically going to hell.
Shoplifters come in all shapes and sizes, but one of the most brazen was an elderly grandmother who stole a very expensive ring. She came in with her daughter and grandchildren, and in very broken English asked to please see the rings in the jewelery case. As she was looking through them, one of the grandchildren began screaming at the top of their lungs, stunning all by-standers and distracting the girl behind the counter. During this moment of mayhem, the elderly woman quickly slipped the most expensive of the rings into her pocket, thanked the salesgirl for showing her the rings, and promptly ushered her daughter and her no-longer-screaming grandchild out of the store. It wasn't until later in the day that my co-worker realized that one of the rings was missing, and realized what must have happened. She had been duped-- the screaming grandchild was the perfect distraction, in order for the elderly woman to pull of her perfect petty crime.
However, the elderly woman wasn't as savvy as she thought she was. (Either that, or she simply doubted the intelligence of the entire staff of the store.) The following week, she returned to the store, again with her daughter and grandchild in toe, and approached the jewelery case to look at the new items. She reached out to point to a particularly pretty necklace, again asking in broken English to see it, when the manager realized that the elderly woman was WEARING the stolen ring. She quickly told the elderly woman not to move, and asked her to please return the stolen ring and leave the store. The elderly woman began frantically murmuring that she "Did not speak English" while obviously trying to plan her escape. Sensing danger, her daughter and granddaughter had already left the store, and the elderly woman's eyes frantically darted around the store, trying to plan her escape. My manager, understanding that the elderly woman wasn't going to cooperate, finally said, "You may not understand me, but do you understand the word 'police officer'? Because that's who I'm going to call next." The elderly woman froze, and in perfect English said, "That I do understand," then promptly removed the ring, and left, never to be heard from again.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Poo-mergency!!
This story is a gem! It took place at a store I use to work at. Unfortunately I wasn't working when this occurred (though I don't really wish I was there), I did have the pleasure of hearing the story from five different co-workers who were involved/witnessed the "incident". With these different perspectives I hope recreate the story in whole, and I truly hopes it translate well in writing.
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Location: Fine home decor store, Walnut Creek, Ca
A grandmother and a mother came in to the store one afternoon, along with two young boys. They are interested in purchasing a dining table, and have started talking with a store associate (we'll call her "B") about the 100% mahogany table with the capabilities to sit 10 (the most expensive table in the overpriced store).
Attention is first brought upon them by a second associate ("G"). You see, the grandmother had a huge ass. According to G, it was the BIGGEST ass she's ever seen. And to top it off the women is wearing spandex, that are a few sizes too small, and there for are stretched beyond their limits. No longer a solid piece of fabric, but a collection of many fibers, holding on for dear life - stretched to the point that you can see through, because there are holes between the over worked fibers. So G called over the walkie-talkies for the manager to come and check out this Ass (capitalized... because it's a being in itself). <--proof of the true uses of walkie-talkies
Now while this is all happening, B has been discussing the qualities of the table with the ladies. The younger of the two boys, perched on the mother's hip, is complaining about stomach pains. The mother too engaged in her conversation over the table, ignores his pleas, and ten minutes when the smell of poop has polluted the air, the mother still doesn't seem to notice or care.
At this point the manager on duty, as well as other associates and stock workers who heard of the large ass that has arrived in the store have gathered at a safe distance to catch a glimpse of the marvel.
The smell of poop has grown, and the poor child in still complaining of stomach pains. So B, who couldn't believe the mothers ignorance to the child’s discomfort, asks the mother if the child is feeling ok.
At this point multiple things happen at once. The "ass observers" had gathered. The mother replied to B that the boy had been feeling sick to his stomach, but she thinks he's just fine. While at the same time pulling the back of his pants open to see if he's soiled himself. But the most important thing that happened in this instance, was that something in the boy let go, and a spray of liquid feces came shooting out of the open back of his pants. Covering the child, covering the mother, covering the floor, and covering the $3000 table that they have been discussing buying.
At the pointing the mother, embarrassed about what happened takes the boy up to the restroom to clean them both. While the grandmother stays. Though she doesn’t help clean the mess; she instead acts as if nothing has happened and continues to ask questions about the table. While B and G are essentially scooping and wiping her grandson’s shit off of the $3000 table and surrounding area.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Walkie-Talkies and the Retail Worker
Walkie-Talkies!
A retail workers best friend.
It makes it easier to communicate while on the sales floor. Get products faster- figure out if there is a product in the stockroom.
But most importantly... if makes it ridiculously easy to make fun of customers.
I realize this is rude, and immature. However, when you're supplied with a walkie-talkie, and a head set, so none of the customers can here you... you would do it too.
A retail workers best friend.
It makes it easier to communicate while on the sales floor. Get products faster- figure out if there is a product in the stockroom.
But most importantly... if makes it ridiculously easy to make fun of customers.
I realize this is rude, and immature. However, when you're supplied with a walkie-talkie, and a head set, so none of the customers can here you... you would do it too.
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Rich and the Mighty
I've worked multiple retail jobs, and have acquired many stories from my experiences. But it's not just my personal stories that I plan to share. Using my recourses, also known as friends and co-workers, I'm collecting others experiences in the wonderful world of customer service.
In the East Bay in northern California, the - once - small town of Walnut Creek, has been over worked and over developed, and turned in to an overpriced Mecca of designer clothes and fine home furnishings stores. And from one of the small stores that survived the development comes the first story from a retail worker.
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I work at a women's consignment store in the gloriously snooty town of Walnut Creek, CA. Beyond the enjoyment I get out of watching women - dripping in designer clothing - walk into our store and freeze in horror when they realize that the clothing is... GASP... used, before tripping over their $1000 boots in their haste to get out of there, I have had a few interesting experiences working at the store.
This story has to do with a mother and daughter who came in to shop for back to school clothing a few years ago. At the time, I was a sensitive and easily excitable teenager, who hated confrontation. Unfortunately for me, when the mother-daughter duo came up to purchase their clothing, one of the items in their pile (of seriously no less than ten pieces of clothing) was improperly tagged, and the price indicated that the t-shirt was only $1.
Now, at this point I should explain a little bit about how consignment works. Women bring in their "delicately used" clothing; we price it, tag it, and put it on the floor (usually rich house wives, in an attempt to make a little cash without their husband’s knowledge, come to sell their clothes that they - god forbid- couldn’t wear a second time. So they sell it in our consignment store, where they in turn get 50% of the selling price). Usually this is a seamless operation, but every once in a while something goes wrong. Sometimes clothing ends up on the floor without a censor, other times things end up with the wrong tag... we're human, we make mistakes, it happens. When this particular shirt was consigned, whoever was entering the information for the tag had forgotten to give it a price, and by default, the computer system priced it at one dollar. Regular customers know this happens occasionally, and usually bring it to one of our attention, so we can actually price the item.
However, this time things didn't happen so smoothly...When I went to scan the ticket for the improperly priced shirt, I quickly realized the error, and also that I had to tell the woman that the shirt she wanted to purchase wasn't actually $1, and that I couldn't sell it to her at that price (seeing that the consigner wouldn’t be pleased with their 50% return of 50 cents).
I tried to break this terrible news in a delicate and polite manner, aware that this was something that was the store's fault. I then offered to sell the shirt to her for $8, less than it was worth, in order to try and appease her. Unfortunately, appease her I did not, and she immediately began ranting, at a near-scream, that what I was attempting to do was ILLEGAL, and that I had better sell her that shirt for one dollar or she would call the Better Business Bureau RIGHT AWAY, and that I would certainly be fired for incompetence, poor customer service, and generally being a terrible person. Of course, at this point, I'm near tears and in utter shock that I have a grown woman screaming at me, so Monica came to the rescue and repeated why we couldn't sell her the shirt-- it's a consignment store, things get improperly tagged, it's store policy to re-price items that don't get a price, etc. etc.
At this point, the woman takes a turn for the irrational, and decides that we won't sell her the shirt for $1 because we are DISCRIMINATING against her, and that we're obviously IGNORANT RACISTS. (Which was insane, because, for one, she was a completely unremarkable, middle-aged Caucasian woman, and of course, we don't discriminate against anyone, let alone her.)At this point, her horrified daughter is near tears, and begging her mother to just pay for the other items and leave, she doesn't even like the shirt, it's not a big deal, etc. etc. Without calming down at all, the woman screams that they won't be buying anything from this GODDAMN STORE, and urges all of the other stunned patrons to SHOP ELSEWHERE, and stop supporting such a POORLY RUN, DISCRIMINATORY SHOP. With that, she left, tugging her embarrassed daughter behind her, yelling that we would be hearing from the Better Business Bureau, as well as her lawyer, and to be ready. Of course, we never heard from anyone again-- not the woman, not a lawyer, and not even the BBB, but the story has stuck with me as one of the more insane retail experiences I've had to live through.
-Consignment Store Clerk
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The retail worker
For someone to survive at a retail job, they need to come from a hardy brand.
Working in retail is the most stressful, but with the right attitude, entertaining job in the world. It's all about perspective. Be willing to laugh about it afterwards ( or upon occasion in the moment, and in the face of the party in question) is a key to survival.
The perfect retail worker:
- Someone who appreciates being yelled at, and at times receiving a mist of angry saliva projecting out of said yelling mouth on their face.
- Willing to take the blame for circumstances beyond their control, while keeping a calm demeanor
- Disgusting circumstances arise. Someone who takes pleasure in cleaning up the – let’s call them messes – produced by complete strangers, their offspring and sometimes their pets.
Working in retail is the most stressful, but with the right attitude, entertaining job in the world. It's all about perspective. Be willing to laugh about it afterwards ( or upon occasion in the moment, and in the face of the party in question) is a key to survival.
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