There is a python lose in our store... no joke. It's on the smaller side... but still! THERE IS A PYTHON LOSE IN OUR STORE!!!
On another note...
Awkward conversation with co-worker
co-worker: OH MAN!
me: What?
cw: I just got a text from my boyfriend. He went to the doctor, but he's not insured. It cost him $200 and all he did was drop his pants and have the doctor say "Yeah we can remove that". Plus it's going to cost another $500 to get it removed
She never specified what it was... nor do I want to know. but ohhhh all the possibilities....
Friday, February 27, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Spandex
This one is actually one of own.
At the over priced home decor store I worked at, there was a frequent shopper that always gave us a kick. She would come into the store 2-3 times a week and always in a different – brightly colored and most likely over priced- exercise attire. Always spandex, though not the cheap kind, this was serious spandex! And always, the top was the cut of a sports bra; perfect to show off her middle aged, over worked, overly tanned stomach, rock hard fake tits and her masculine arms. These were two-piece get ups, a matching top and bottom! And my favorite tops were the ones with the heavy duty zipper down the cleavage. (And I have to say, I am impressed, that for coming in as much as she did, I never saw her repeat an outfit.)
She would come in the store and shop, mostly just browsing, though upon occasion she would make a large purchase. For the most part, she would wonder the store and take advantage of every opportunity to work out. I always felt I was watching some strange exercise video about turning any situation and place in to a full blown gym work out. Ledges were suddenly aerobic steps, or my favorite used to do “the backward push up”.
And to top it all off, she would explain what she was doing to fellow shoppers, and go into detail about what muscles she was working out. It was like an exercise infomercial.
The first time I saw this women I thought it was a huge joke. Come to find out, she’s just really big on staying fit, and refuses to let anything - like shopping - get in the way!
There was one day she had been in the store and purchased a larger item. So she had come back later in the day to pick it up from out back – carry out - door. My manager had met her at the door, and taken her pick up slip, and then shut the door to proceed to get her item. Realizing she had given him the wrong slip, he opened the door to find her doing push up in the hall outside (mind you this city does have homeless people, who are known to relive themselves in said halls…so they were always a bit crusty and always reek of some form of human excrement). He attempted to get her attention, and was quickly hushed, so she can finish her 50 push-ups before stopping to retrieve the correct slip.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At the over priced home decor store I worked at, there was a frequent shopper that always gave us a kick. She would come into the store 2-3 times a week and always in a different – brightly colored and most likely over priced- exercise attire. Always spandex, though not the cheap kind, this was serious spandex! And always, the top was the cut of a sports bra; perfect to show off her middle aged, over worked, overly tanned stomach, rock hard fake tits and her masculine arms. These were two-piece get ups, a matching top and bottom! And my favorite tops were the ones with the heavy duty zipper down the cleavage. (And I have to say, I am impressed, that for coming in as much as she did, I never saw her repeat an outfit.)
She would come in the store and shop, mostly just browsing, though upon occasion she would make a large purchase. For the most part, she would wonder the store and take advantage of every opportunity to work out. I always felt I was watching some strange exercise video about turning any situation and place in to a full blown gym work out. Ledges were suddenly aerobic steps, or my favorite used to do “the backward push up”.
And to top it all off, she would explain what she was doing to fellow shoppers, and go into detail about what muscles she was working out. It was like an exercise infomercial.
The first time I saw this women I thought it was a huge joke. Come to find out, she’s just really big on staying fit, and refuses to let anything - like shopping - get in the way!
There was one day she had been in the store and purchased a larger item. So she had come back later in the day to pick it up from out back – carry out - door. My manager had met her at the door, and taken her pick up slip, and then shut the door to proceed to get her item. Realizing she had given him the wrong slip, he opened the door to find her doing push up in the hall outside (mind you this city does have homeless people, who are known to relive themselves in said halls…so they were always a bit crusty and always reek of some form of human excrement). He attempted to get her attention, and was quickly hushed, so she can finish her 50 push-ups before stopping to retrieve the correct slip.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Top Heavy
Location: High end furniture store
Participants: Large chested store associate and middle aged man
The man came in interested in a dinning table. After showing him the different options for tables, we came to the last table. An extremely heavy hardwood table.
He stated reading the "Facts Sheet" attached to the table out loud. When he got to the the part which read "caution: top heavy", he looked up and said "Is this referring to the table or to you?"
Participants: Large chested store associate and middle aged man
The man came in interested in a dinning table. After showing him the different options for tables, we came to the last table. An extremely heavy hardwood table.
He stated reading the "Facts Sheet" attached to the table out loud. When he got to the the part which read "caution: top heavy", he looked up and said "Is this referring to the table or to you?"
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Creep
Sometimes customers can be creepy
This is a friends story of one such case
It was one evening, just before closing, when a man walked in to the store. I was alone on the floor, we were short handed that night, and my manager was in the back office closing. The man looked at me, then slowly walked around the entire store. He stopped in front of me, and asked, "Are you here alone?"
I realized he had looked to see if anyone else was in the store, so I lied, and tried to make it sound as if I wasn't alone. I was completely freaked out, and thinking about what he wants and how to react.
But what he ended up saying surprised me
"You’re the type of girl I would marry for a week, fuck then divorce "
Not what I had expected, inappropriate, but I hadn't thought about how it react in this situation.
I responded, "I happen to have a boyfriend".
To which he said, "I happen to know you don’t ".
At this point I sternly told him he needs to leave, yet he didn't seem to get the clue, and continued to "casually" harass me. That is until I treated to call security, and he shuffled out.
This is a friends story of one such case
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was one evening, just before closing, when a man walked in to the store. I was alone on the floor, we were short handed that night, and my manager was in the back office closing. The man looked at me, then slowly walked around the entire store. He stopped in front of me, and asked, "Are you here alone?"
I realized he had looked to see if anyone else was in the store, so I lied, and tried to make it sound as if I wasn't alone. I was completely freaked out, and thinking about what he wants and how to react.
But what he ended up saying surprised me
"You’re the type of girl I would marry for a week, fuck then divorce "
Not what I had expected, inappropriate, but I hadn't thought about how it react in this situation.
I responded, "I happen to have a boyfriend".
To which he said, "I happen to know you don’t ".
At this point I sternly told him he needs to leave, yet he didn't seem to get the clue, and continued to "casually" harass me. That is until I treated to call security, and he shuffled out.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Plain White Tees and Diaper Wipes
Though not quite a "poo-mergency", this department store hell story does register as pretty damn gross.
It was just before Christmas, when there is the huge holiday rush, and the store was extremely busy. Because there were to many customers and not enough employees, me and a coworker had decided to team up. We were on dressing room duty, and we had figured out what it was quicker to both work together and rotate between the different dressing rooms. So we were running in circles, going from the Menes to the Women's - Juniors'- Children's, etc.
It was madness, with constant moving. At one point in the day we had gotten back to the Juniors dressing room. It was trashed! Which wasn't at all unusual, but was strange was the smell. But we were in a grove, and just continued cleaning. We had made it through the small dressing rooms, coming to the large room last. The floor was covered in clothes, there were three large piles.
So we started sorting through. Dividing what needed to be folded, hung, go the jeans wall, etc. My co-worker, making it to the final pile, picked up a plan white tee-shirt, and exclaimed "OH MY GOD! I've found out what the smell is. This is disgusting".
The shirt had a smear down the front. Someone had used the white tee-shirt as a diaper wipe. And it wasn't just the one shirt, it was five total that had been used. Some bitch didn't have the decency to walk the 100 yards to the bathroom to change her child's diaper, and had instead decided that the a hand full of Juniors white tee-shirts, would work to wipe the kids ass.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was just before Christmas, when there is the huge holiday rush, and the store was extremely busy. Because there were to many customers and not enough employees, me and a coworker had decided to team up. We were on dressing room duty, and we had figured out what it was quicker to both work together and rotate between the different dressing rooms. So we were running in circles, going from the Menes to the Women's - Juniors'- Children's, etc.
It was madness, with constant moving. At one point in the day we had gotten back to the Juniors dressing room. It was trashed! Which wasn't at all unusual, but was strange was the smell. But we were in a grove, and just continued cleaning. We had made it through the small dressing rooms, coming to the large room last. The floor was covered in clothes, there were three large piles.
So we started sorting through. Dividing what needed to be folded, hung, go the jeans wall, etc. My co-worker, making it to the final pile, picked up a plan white tee-shirt, and exclaimed "OH MY GOD! I've found out what the smell is. This is disgusting".
The shirt had a smear down the front. Someone had used the white tee-shirt as a diaper wipe. And it wasn't just the one shirt, it was five total that had been used. Some bitch didn't have the decency to walk the 100 yards to the bathroom to change her child's diaper, and had instead decided that the a hand full of Juniors white tee-shirts, would work to wipe the kids ass.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Shoplifter in Training
This one I got from a department store associate. And though not the most outrageous story I've heard, it's definitely different... and wrong.
Once day while monitoring the children's dressing room at my store, I noticed a man in the dressing room with his young daughter. Not thinking much of it, I continued cleaning out the clothes left in the empty dressing stalls. The stall next to theirs had a large pile of clothes on the ground. So I grabbed the first load and carries it out, but when going in for the second arm load I over heard the man in the next stall talking quietly to his daughter.
Realizing the conversation was a bit suspicious I paused for a moment to over hear him telling his daughter, "This is why you wear a big jacket with very little underneath. You can put on multiple layers of shirts and you can't tell once your jacket is back on." The conversation, that i now realized was a lesson in shoplifting continued like that.
So finally I knocked on the door, resulting in complete quite on the other side, and I politely asked "If you're going to teach your daughter to shoplift, please don't do it in my dressing room".
At this point I called in the store Loss Prevention Manager. And when the man and child had exited the store they were stopped. The man was outraged and accused the store of crossing the line. But considering the frightened child, no older than 6 or 7, opened her jacket to reveal the four shirts she had on underneath, if was definitely the man who has crossed the line.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Once day while monitoring the children's dressing room at my store, I noticed a man in the dressing room with his young daughter. Not thinking much of it, I continued cleaning out the clothes left in the empty dressing stalls. The stall next to theirs had a large pile of clothes on the ground. So I grabbed the first load and carries it out, but when going in for the second arm load I over heard the man in the next stall talking quietly to his daughter.
Realizing the conversation was a bit suspicious I paused for a moment to over hear him telling his daughter, "This is why you wear a big jacket with very little underneath. You can put on multiple layers of shirts and you can't tell once your jacket is back on." The conversation, that i now realized was a lesson in shoplifting continued like that.
So finally I knocked on the door, resulting in complete quite on the other side, and I politely asked "If you're going to teach your daughter to shoplift, please don't do it in my dressing room".
At this point I called in the store Loss Prevention Manager. And when the man and child had exited the store they were stopped. The man was outraged and accused the store of crossing the line. But considering the frightened child, no older than 6 or 7, opened her jacket to reveal the four shirts she had on underneath, if was definitely the man who has crossed the line.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Never Stop Moving
Short bit from a small town drugstore
My store is in a quite park of town, no where near downtown at the normal retail rush. But it happened to be right next door to a retirement home. So we get a lot of people 65 and up. In fact sometimes there are scheduled "fieldtrips" to our shopping center.
On Christmas Eve, a woman from the retirement home came in to our store. I put all of her items in to one bag, but hesitated realizing she's a small old lady. So I asked, " Do u want me to lighten this up for u? " and she said "Oh, no! I am strong!"
Totally amused, I decide to humor her a bit and say, "Wow you are strong! "
To which she responds, "I'm 91 years old! almost 92."
I reply," WOW, I wanna be like u when i'm that age"
And she said "Do you wanna know the secret to good health like mine? Never stop moving!" and then she flexed her arm!
I thanked her for the advice, and was truely impressed with her vitailty and humor!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My store is in a quite park of town, no where near downtown at the normal retail rush. But it happened to be right next door to a retirement home. So we get a lot of people 65 and up. In fact sometimes there are scheduled "fieldtrips" to our shopping center.
On Christmas Eve, a woman from the retirement home came in to our store. I put all of her items in to one bag, but hesitated realizing she's a small old lady. So I asked, " Do u want me to lighten this up for u? " and she said "Oh, no! I am strong!"
Totally amused, I decide to humor her a bit and say, "Wow you are strong! "
To which she responds, "I'm 91 years old! almost 92."
I reply," WOW, I wanna be like u when i'm that age"
And she said "Do you wanna know the secret to good health like mine? Never stop moving!" and then she flexed her arm!
I thanked her for the advice, and was truely impressed with her vitailty and humor!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)