Spandex

This one is actually one of own.

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At the over priced home decor store I worked at, there was a frequent shopper that always gave us a kick. She would come into the store 2-3 times a week and always in a different – brightly colored and most likely over priced- exercise attire. Always spandex, though not the cheap kind, this was serious spandex! And always, the top was the cut of a sports bra; perfect to show off her middle aged, over worked, overly tanned stomach, rock hard fake tits and her masculine arms. These were two-piece get ups, a matching top and bottom! And my favorite tops were the ones with the heavy duty zipper down the cleavage. (And I have to say, I am impressed, that for coming in as much as she did, I never saw her repeat an outfit.)


She would come in the store and shop, mostly just browsing, though upon occasion she would make a large purchase. For the most part, she would wonder the store and take advantage of every opportunity to work out. I always felt I was watching some strange exercise video about turning any situation and place in to a full blown gym work out. Ledges were suddenly aerobic steps, or my favorite used to do “the backward push up”.


And to top it all off, she would explain what she was doing to fellow shoppers, and go into detail about what muscles she was working out. It was like an exercise infomercial.


The first time I saw this women I thought it was a huge joke. Come to find out, she’s just really big on staying fit, and refuses to let anything - like shopping - get in the way!


There was one day she had been in the store and purchased a larger item. So she had come back later in the day to pick it up from out back – carry out - door. My manager had met her at the door, and taken her pick up slip, and then shut the door to proceed to get her item. Realizing she had given him the wrong slip, he opened the door to find her doing push up in the hall outside (mind you this city does have homeless people, who are known to relive themselves in said halls…so they were always a bit crusty and always reek of some form of human excrement). He attempted to get her attention, and was quickly hushed, so she can finish her 50 push-ups before stopping to retrieve the correct slip.